i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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