How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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