Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
