if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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