is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
