I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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