I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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