I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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