She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
