He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
