Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
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