We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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