I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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