I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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