I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
