Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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