We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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