i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I just gargled with NyQuil
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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