I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize