ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
