so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
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