those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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