Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
