I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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