im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
We left an ass print on the piano.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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