Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize