Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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