Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
