Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
