my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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