i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
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