guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
