It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
