Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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