Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
