i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
50% drunk capacity currently
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
