If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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