I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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