Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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