Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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