we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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