I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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