Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He passed out mid-signature
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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