Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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