I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
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