You just made me feel so damn special
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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