She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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