is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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