once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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