So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
