part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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