Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
He better not be in your backpack
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
