Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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