GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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