so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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