And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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