this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
