It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
