wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
