Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I have fence marks all over my body
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
