so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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