sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
